UUUGGGHHHHHHH!
I never thought I would ever get to my breaking point but the truth is I am. I hate high school and when I say hate I mean the utter thought of even waking up to go to some stupid place full of stupid people just to be bossed around infuriates me!!! Over the summer I had that great feeling of "wow everyone loves me" and although I see how that sounds self centered, I didn't care! I felt like I was on top of the world and nobody could knock me off my high horse because I thought I was just the person everyone loved to be around. False. I'm lucky to have three people who even tolerate me. And while I go through this withdraw, I feel like nobody cares. The one person I look forward to talking to at night isn't acting like himself and that's worrying me. Although he says he isn't mad at me I can tell something's wrong, like I'm just annoying or something. Everything in my life seems to be going good and then suddenly I start thinking, which is never good! I just wish I had normal family, more friends, a better relationship with Hunter!!!!!
But at the same time I look at all of this and realize how conceded I really am and how demanding I am. That is the real reason I am unhappy.

Im still here

I know its been a while since I have posted a blog, I honestly had no idea what to write about. Life is pretty good right now. I'm on summer vacation, my parents finally heard back from our realtors and we got our very first house, I'm happier than ever with my friends! Not to mention my significant other... yes I said it! I'm considering him my significant other, although nothing is going on right now we are just very very very good friends. In fact we went to Disney World a few weeks ago and I got to meet his family! They're super nice and hilarious to be around.
Were hoping to move into our new house by the beginning of July. I'm super excited about finally being able to customize our home the way we want it. Perhaps we will get a dog?! Plus, I'm hearing word about maybe a hot tub :) maybe I can finally have friends over without feeling embarrassed about where I live.
I can now say that I have never been more scared in my life! High school starts in about two months. That's right, I'm a freshman. I never thought this day would ever come, I never thought I would ever be able to call myself a high-schooler. I'm already applying for scholarships and that seems crazy to me but ill take all the help I can get!
Wish me luck!

Stop and think

Kids are mean! I don't care if you say you go to church or help at the homeless shelter, if you have the audacity to say the words "you're such a fat pig," then you deserve the title of mean girl. I am so sick of all the negativity that comes out of 8th graders mouth sometimes. If you don't like me for me, then don't bother being my friend! I'm not going to change for anyone. Like the other day I was walking to my 4th period class and I heard one of the 7th grade girls, who thought she was all that, say something that really bugged me! She had pulled another girl into the middle of a crowded area and told her "you wear that ugly shirt to school everyday!" she was pushing the poor girl around and embarrassing her in front of everyone! I was thinking, as if anyone cares! In fact I got so mad at what the girl was saying that I turned around and yelled, "well you wear that ugly face to school everyday but nobody says anything to you..." at that moment I had realized what I said. All though it was uncalled for, I felt good! I'm proud to say that I stood up for that one person who seemed like she was having a bad day. I can guarantee you that the mean girl felt ashamed of what she had said and how she had acted because as soon as all of her little peppy "friends" giggled, she ran off with that look of regret on her face. See, life is too short to deal with all the annoying drama. If the highlight of your day is telling someone that they're ugly or fat, then there is something much more wrong with the situation. You must be feeling pretty terrible to make someone's life harder. Stop with the silliness. Its NOT your place to judge someone else! My name is Samantha, or Sam, and I don't give a crap what the "popular" girl has to say! I am opinionated, I have an attitude, I can be very aggressive, but I am not a mean girl. I don't wake up to go to school and tell someone how bad they look, I don't live to call people fat pigs... whoever is reading this right now, I want you to stop and think: is that you? Do you say those things or are you the one who lifts the spirit of others up when they get told that nasty stuff. I want you to go to school, or your job, or where ever tomorrow, and compliment as many people as you can. Even if its as simple as "I love your hair today!"
I dare you...

True friends

I question myself all the time about what a true friend is. I get along with a lot of people at school but should I really consider them true friends. True friends are the people that make you feel accepted! They're the people that seem to understand you but aren't afraid to correct you if you're headed down the wrong path. My friends are like my second family. I can talk to them about anything and know that I won't be looked at differently. You'll know a true friend when you meet them... trust me!

Oh the days,

Today was one of those days when I really don't feel appreciated by certain friends. I'm not trying to put anyone down, but seriously? Is that how it's going to be? For most of my friends, I would honestly sacrifice my life if it meant keeping them safe, but for others... it's different (I'm not naming anybody because I feel as though that would be disrespectful). Any time I get into an argument with a friend, I end up apologizing first! I'm tired of apologizing for things I didn't start. I honestly have to say that I put up with so much from certain allies, and I'm sure they put up with alot from me too. But there is a fine line between compromising over issues, and complete dominance taken over me by certain people. Or when certain people have the audacity to talk to ME about a "hard life," all because their iPhone didn't arrive when they wanted it to! Most of you have no idea what my past consists of, nor will you ever! The past is in the past, and I do not wish to speak of it. Anyway, is it bad to feel somewhat offended when that happens? Maybe if people would open up their eyes and realize that the struggles in life should not consist of iPhones, or boyfriends when your 13, or even your status on Instagram, then I wouldn't be writing about how annoyed I am right now. It's not the friend themself that bothers me, its the very fact that the friend seems to always have to be right without ever hearing what I want to say, that really bugs me. God says he wants us to forgive thy neighbor, but I'm only human and that can be very challenging at times. I guess I need to learn how to forgive because that's the only way I'll ever be able to move on :\

The real world:

Remember those times in kindergarten when nothing mattered except juice boxes and nap time? Yeah, the real world isn't like that. Granted I am still half a year away from high school so I'm not too experienced with the "real world" although I hear lots of great things about... (not!) Apparently there are these crazy things called jobs and taxes, but what if I don't want to get a job or pay my taxes? Oh wait, reality just informed that I do, so I have no further questions! My, soon to be, class of 2019 is getting close to that time when they need to support themselves and move on with their lives. Now, for some of us, that's going to be very easy! I mean, who's not ready to walk out the door and become free, right? I know it seems awesome to be out on your own but I'm sure you'll get to the point when you hate the real world and you're  ready to move back in with mom and dad. I'm, personally not scared of the world, the world should be scared of me!! (that was a joke) But seriously, as long as you have plenty to offer and you show effort at achieving your goals you'll be just fine! Beware of those speed bumps along the way though, one mistake and you could crash and burn. I guess it's  your decision to ether get back on the road and keep chugging along, or lay there and feel sorry for your self.

What if

I'm your typical eighth grader. I wake up early in the morning to get ready for the day, then I wait at the bus stop only to dread the next six hours of my life. Pretty boring right? I do enjoy talking to my friends and some of my classes aren't that bad, but everyday seems to be the same! I realize that I only have so much time left on this earth and I'm not getting any younger! I'm seeking an adventure. I'm ready to drop everything at a minutes notice if it means traveling and seeing something truly extraordinary! I'm not materialistic. I don't need the latest and greatest items that come out each year. What I do need is a source of adventure, somewhere I could travel that would take my breath away! Life is not measured by the number of breathes we take but by the number of moments that take our breath away, so why do so many people choose to live and die in the same place? I don't just want to survive... I want to live! I'm  just your typical eighth grader, I wake up early and go to school, but what if...